Why I don't like Elf of the Shelf

Amita is three and really starting to understand the concept of Christmas. I've been looking forward to putting up the tree, making cookies, going to Christmas mass, singing songs, and making our own family traditions - and most of all, seeing her reactions to everything. One thing that I've seen on Facebook and Pintrest that I thought would be fun for a new family tradition was Elf on the Shelf. I saw many cute pictures of Elves in all sorts of neat poses and I could imagine how magical that must be for children. Excited at the prospect of doing this for my kids, I started doing research. What I found was surprising. 

The Elf (every family names their own) comes with his own book that explains the story of Elf on the Shelf. The Elf is sent by Santa to watch over children and report their behavior back to Santa, presumably to help determine if they go on the naughty or nice list and whether or not they will get presents. The Elves are not to be touched by the children and get their "power" when named. Every night the Elf flies back to the North Pole to report on the children's behavior and then comes back and hides before the family wakes up (hence the funny poses).

Maybe because it's a pet peeve of mine, but I was a little surprised to read the meaning behind Elf of the Shelf. I hate it when people tell the girls that they need to be good because Santa is going to come. Do you want to know why? It's because I expect them to be good all the time (within reason) - simply because it is the right thing for them to do. The act of giving Christmas presents does not include a check list I tally to determine the number of presents to give my kids - and I never want them to every think that it might. 

I thought of the things I wanted to teach them about Christmas, and a few things came to mind. The first is love. Love for God, love for others, love for themselves, and love of the Christmas season. I wanted them to practice kindness, gratitude, generosity, and a spirit of giving. I wanted them to get along with each other, and to spend quality time as a family. 

So, I came up with my own idea. This year, we introduced the Kindness Elves. I bought two generic elves on the internet (cheaper than Elf of the Shelf!) and wrote a letter to the kids from the elves. The first day caught me by surprise because we had just gotten back from traveling, so I had the kids start off with the simple action of giving each other a hug (it took them a half an hour to both do it so I think it was a pretty good starting point). The Elves have had them do things to prepare their hearts for the true meaning of Christmas including: making banana bread for our friends and neighbors, hugging family members and helping caring for them when they are sick, making Christmas cards for friends, giving one of their toys to children in need, reading Christmas books as a family, and generally spreading Christmas cheer. It's been a lot of fun to watch the kids look for and find the kindness elves and see what act of kindness we are doing. 

It's been a great tradition for us - one I plan on keeping around even after they no longer believe in Santa. Christmas is about much more than presents and Santa, it's about the love of a family, the traditions that bring us together, and kindness towards others. The elves have helped all of us (myself included) keep that in mind during the holiday season. It's been wonderful to spend time doing meaningful things with the girls while still keeping the magic and whimsy of Elf of the Shelf. It brings my heart so much joy to see them starting to understand what is important in life - and enjoying the process. I'll mark this down in the "win" column!