I had an interesting experience a couple of weeks ago when we went to Madison for Ridhwi's work. He (Ridhwi) happened to come back to the hotel early and we decided to go out to dinner. We were celebrating one of our anniversaries (we have several, but that is another blog post) and decided to go some where semi-nice. I say "semi" because we had the kids in tow and you can only go to semi-nice places without people hating you for bringing them. We googled the area and found a Brazilian place that looked good. Our kids are definite meat eaters and we thought with the salad bar options we could find some thing for everyone in the family to be happy. It was a great dinner - minus a plate that fell on the floor and almost broke. Our waitress even helped make some sort of ghetto sippy cups out the the glasses with lids and masking tape she found in a basket (we really appreciated it).
After we had finished eating we needed to walk off the copious amount of meat we ate and decided to walk around a bit (as you do after going to a Brazilian restaurant). We were happy to see that the downtown area had some neat shops and was pretty active. We imagined ourselves to be explorers (much like Dora) and headed toward the action. We thought it would be fun, new, and exciting. We thought that our kids would be angels with full meat bellies that would walk idly beside us only occasionally pointing out an interesting sight or amusing us with a small anecdote. What really happened is that their full meat bellies turned them into animal-children with no sense of concern for their personal safety. We made it about 12 feet before Ashima laid down in the parking lot and Amita refused to hold hands so we decided that additional safety measures must be taken.
Now, before I tell you what happened next, I'm going to preface my actions with a justification. Twice Ashima has run away from me and onto a busy road; once I had to run into the road to stop the car that was scarily close to hitting her. After that incident, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I needed to get some sort of restraint for her when she is not in her stroller and we are in a highly trafficked area. She does not listen to directions, does not like to hold hands, and runs with no sense of self-preservation. So, I bought some "bracelets" that attach to both their wrist and my wrist. They are elastic so it's actually pretty good for the kids. They have a sense of freedom but they are not in any danger. I've always thought I would never be the sort of mom that put a leash on her kid but I guess I am. Ashima's safety is just too important to me. There is nothing that changes your mind about safety as your child almost getting hit by a car.
So, back to the story, we were walking and the kids were NOT behaving. I pulled out the leash for Ashima and Amita decided that she wanted one as well. Interestingly enough, Amita really likes her "bracelet". I think it makes her feel a safe connection to me while not holding my hand. All the better to explore with, and Amita loves to explore - just like Dora. ("Come on, Vaminos! Where are we going? To walk around!"). We chose buddies and started walking. The was the first time we were out in public with the leashes er… excuse me… "bracelets". We got a lot of knowing smiles from parents and a few strange and judgmental looks from what I'm assuming were non-parents. More than anything, though, I felt a huge sense of relief that I got to walk without having to constantly keep an eye on whether Ashima was going to run into traffic. It was nice and enjoyable, for a while.
We eventually wandered onto the University of Wisconsin campus (which is beautiful, by the way). I went to the University of Kansas for two years and Emporia State College for two years (with a semester for studying abroad in England). Ridhwi did his 6 years of medical school at Katsturba Medical College at the Pokhra, Nepal, location. Both of us really enjoyed our college years and happily reminiscing as we were walking, whispering as we needed to for the parts we didn't want the kids to hear. We turned away from the University and found ourselves in a residential neighborhood. This is where I started to feel a bit self-conscious. You see, the evening classes had just gotten out and the sidewalks were full of headphone-wearing college kids hurrying home from class, scantily-clad females heading out for the night, and a pair of computer programers talking about code (we overheard their extremely nerdy conversation and snickered). We were also on the road containing sorority and fraternities for the University and the students were outside in the front yard playing horseshoes, listening to music, and drinking beer.
It has always been a fervent wish of mine to go back to school and get an advanced degree in either english or education. However, life happens and Ridhwi's job is the one that pays the bills so residency and all that comes with it took precedence - and there is no way I could go with the kids as young as they are. A lot of people successfully do it, but I'm not sure I could. Since it's not necessary for anything at this point, it just hasn't happened. Maybe one day, though.
The campus life at U of W looked like a lot of fun! I found myself wishing I could join in the game of horseshoes, thinking about whether I could transfer credits to the University, and generally daydreaming about college, when suddenly I felt a pull on my "bracelet" as Ashima wrapped herself around a tree. I was literally yanked out of my reverie to attend to my crying one year-old who desperately wanted to look in the drainage system on the side of the road. So these young college children, unaccustomed to hearing the cries of children, turned off the music and stared at us. It was that exact moment - when I felt the staring eyes of quite a few college students - that I realized I was an interloper and longer belonged in that crowd. I would no longer be able to hang out until 2 in the morning at my neighbor's apartment drinking beer, or smoke hookah and discuss literature (and gossip) with my classmates. I no longer had common interests with these people staring at me(unless they had some strange fascination with potty training and couponing). With this revelation in mind we kept walking around the neighborhood but it was not the same the same as it was before. Instead of imagining the students as my brethren - friends my own age with similar interests, I felt like a walking example for birth control. When we passed egg heads talking about their classes and intellectual pursuits I wanted to tell them that I used to be smart but I'm pretty sure that motherhood makes you lose some of mind (for real, it happens with pregnancy and never returns), and when we passed the students playing games and hanging out in front of their dormitories I wanted to tell them to enjoy drinking while they could because after one glass of wine nowadays all I want to do is go to bed and I still manage to feel hungover the next day.
As I lay in bed that night (at the very late time of 10:00 pm), my head resting on Ridhwi's chest and the kids asleep in the bed next to us, I reflected upon what it was like going back to the University. While I enjoyed thinking about the good 'ol days and pretending for an extremely short period of time I might still fit in with that crowd, I realized that I wouldn't change what I have for anything. It is still a dream that some day I might go back to college for an advanced degree, but for the time being, I'll enjoy being a mommy and everything that comes with it, "bracelets" and all.
After we had finished eating we needed to walk off the copious amount of meat we ate and decided to walk around a bit (as you do after going to a Brazilian restaurant). We were happy to see that the downtown area had some neat shops and was pretty active. We imagined ourselves to be explorers (much like Dora) and headed toward the action. We thought it would be fun, new, and exciting. We thought that our kids would be angels with full meat bellies that would walk idly beside us only occasionally pointing out an interesting sight or amusing us with a small anecdote. What really happened is that their full meat bellies turned them into animal-children with no sense of concern for their personal safety. We made it about 12 feet before Ashima laid down in the parking lot and Amita refused to hold hands so we decided that additional safety measures must be taken.
Now, before I tell you what happened next, I'm going to preface my actions with a justification. Twice Ashima has run away from me and onto a busy road; once I had to run into the road to stop the car that was scarily close to hitting her. After that incident, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I needed to get some sort of restraint for her when she is not in her stroller and we are in a highly trafficked area. She does not listen to directions, does not like to hold hands, and runs with no sense of self-preservation. So, I bought some "bracelets" that attach to both their wrist and my wrist. They are elastic so it's actually pretty good for the kids. They have a sense of freedom but they are not in any danger. I've always thought I would never be the sort of mom that put a leash on her kid but I guess I am. Ashima's safety is just too important to me. There is nothing that changes your mind about safety as your child almost getting hit by a car.
So, back to the story, we were walking and the kids were NOT behaving. I pulled out the leash for Ashima and Amita decided that she wanted one as well. Interestingly enough, Amita really likes her "bracelet". I think it makes her feel a safe connection to me while not holding my hand. All the better to explore with, and Amita loves to explore - just like Dora. ("Come on, Vaminos! Where are we going? To walk around!"). We chose buddies and started walking. The was the first time we were out in public with the leashes er… excuse me… "bracelets". We got a lot of knowing smiles from parents and a few strange and judgmental looks from what I'm assuming were non-parents. More than anything, though, I felt a huge sense of relief that I got to walk without having to constantly keep an eye on whether Ashima was going to run into traffic. It was nice and enjoyable, for a while.
We eventually wandered onto the University of Wisconsin campus (which is beautiful, by the way). I went to the University of Kansas for two years and Emporia State College for two years (with a semester for studying abroad in England). Ridhwi did his 6 years of medical school at Katsturba Medical College at the Pokhra, Nepal, location. Both of us really enjoyed our college years and happily reminiscing as we were walking, whispering as we needed to for the parts we didn't want the kids to hear. We turned away from the University and found ourselves in a residential neighborhood. This is where I started to feel a bit self-conscious. You see, the evening classes had just gotten out and the sidewalks were full of headphone-wearing college kids hurrying home from class, scantily-clad females heading out for the night, and a pair of computer programers talking about code (we overheard their extremely nerdy conversation and snickered). We were also on the road containing sorority and fraternities for the University and the students were outside in the front yard playing horseshoes, listening to music, and drinking beer.
It has always been a fervent wish of mine to go back to school and get an advanced degree in either english or education. However, life happens and Ridhwi's job is the one that pays the bills so residency and all that comes with it took precedence - and there is no way I could go with the kids as young as they are. A lot of people successfully do it, but I'm not sure I could. Since it's not necessary for anything at this point, it just hasn't happened. Maybe one day, though.
The campus life at U of W looked like a lot of fun! I found myself wishing I could join in the game of horseshoes, thinking about whether I could transfer credits to the University, and generally daydreaming about college, when suddenly I felt a pull on my "bracelet" as Ashima wrapped herself around a tree. I was literally yanked out of my reverie to attend to my crying one year-old who desperately wanted to look in the drainage system on the side of the road. So these young college children, unaccustomed to hearing the cries of children, turned off the music and stared at us. It was that exact moment - when I felt the staring eyes of quite a few college students - that I realized I was an interloper and longer belonged in that crowd. I would no longer be able to hang out until 2 in the morning at my neighbor's apartment drinking beer, or smoke hookah and discuss literature (and gossip) with my classmates. I no longer had common interests with these people staring at me(unless they had some strange fascination with potty training and couponing). With this revelation in mind we kept walking around the neighborhood but it was not the same the same as it was before. Instead of imagining the students as my brethren - friends my own age with similar interests, I felt like a walking example for birth control. When we passed egg heads talking about their classes and intellectual pursuits I wanted to tell them that I used to be smart but I'm pretty sure that motherhood makes you lose some of mind (for real, it happens with pregnancy and never returns), and when we passed the students playing games and hanging out in front of their dormitories I wanted to tell them to enjoy drinking while they could because after one glass of wine nowadays all I want to do is go to bed and I still manage to feel hungover the next day.
As I lay in bed that night (at the very late time of 10:00 pm), my head resting on Ridhwi's chest and the kids asleep in the bed next to us, I reflected upon what it was like going back to the University. While I enjoyed thinking about the good 'ol days and pretending for an extremely short period of time I might still fit in with that crowd, I realized that I wouldn't change what I have for anything. It is still a dream that some day I might go back to college for an advanced degree, but for the time being, I'll enjoy being a mommy and everything that comes with it, "bracelets" and all.
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| Unfortunately, I didn't take a picture of the campus (so I had to use this stock one) but the campus was beautiful. We enjoyed walking around, even if we felt awkward part of the time. |
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