Why I don't like Elf of the Shelf

Amita is three and really starting to understand the concept of Christmas. I've been looking forward to putting up the tree, making cookies, going to Christmas mass, singing songs, and making our own family traditions - and most of all, seeing her reactions to everything. One thing that I've seen on Facebook and Pintrest that I thought would be fun for a new family tradition was Elf on the Shelf. I saw many cute pictures of Elves in all sorts of neat poses and I could imagine how magical that must be for children. Excited at the prospect of doing this for my kids, I started doing research. What I found was surprising. 

The Elf (every family names their own) comes with his own book that explains the story of Elf on the Shelf. The Elf is sent by Santa to watch over children and report their behavior back to Santa, presumably to help determine if they go on the naughty or nice list and whether or not they will get presents. The Elves are not to be touched by the children and get their "power" when named. Every night the Elf flies back to the North Pole to report on the children's behavior and then comes back and hides before the family wakes up (hence the funny poses).

Maybe because it's a pet peeve of mine, but I was a little surprised to read the meaning behind Elf of the Shelf. I hate it when people tell the girls that they need to be good because Santa is going to come. Do you want to know why? It's because I expect them to be good all the time (within reason) - simply because it is the right thing for them to do. The act of giving Christmas presents does not include a check list I tally to determine the number of presents to give my kids - and I never want them to every think that it might. 

I thought of the things I wanted to teach them about Christmas, and a few things came to mind. The first is love. Love for God, love for others, love for themselves, and love of the Christmas season. I wanted them to practice kindness, gratitude, generosity, and a spirit of giving. I wanted them to get along with each other, and to spend quality time as a family. 

So, I came up with my own idea. This year, we introduced the Kindness Elves. I bought two generic elves on the internet (cheaper than Elf of the Shelf!) and wrote a letter to the kids from the elves. The first day caught me by surprise because we had just gotten back from traveling, so I had the kids start off with the simple action of giving each other a hug (it took them a half an hour to both do it so I think it was a pretty good starting point). The Elves have had them do things to prepare their hearts for the true meaning of Christmas including: making banana bread for our friends and neighbors, hugging family members and helping caring for them when they are sick, making Christmas cards for friends, giving one of their toys to children in need, reading Christmas books as a family, and generally spreading Christmas cheer. It's been a lot of fun to watch the kids look for and find the kindness elves and see what act of kindness we are doing. 

It's been a great tradition for us - one I plan on keeping around even after they no longer believe in Santa. Christmas is about much more than presents and Santa, it's about the love of a family, the traditions that bring us together, and kindness towards others. The elves have helped all of us (myself included) keep that in mind during the holiday season. It's been wonderful to spend time doing meaningful things with the girls while still keeping the magic and whimsy of Elf of the Shelf. It brings my heart so much joy to see them starting to understand what is important in life - and enjoying the process. I'll mark this down in the "win" column!

Our Home - A Crazy Couple of Months

The last 8 weeks  have been both the busiest and most fulfilling weeks Ridhwi and I have ever had. Our house is now a home and while we are loving being homeowners, it hasn't been the easiest process.

We bought the house in early September and were very excited but also a bit overwhelmed. The renovations started with our floors - we detested the flooring on the main level. It was white "hospital" tile with dark grout that never looked clean and a mixture of carpeting that was placed strangely in the living room. The house felt cold and lonely, even in the summer. We decided we could wing doing the flooring but we wanted to get it done right away so our stuff would be out of the way and the girls wouldn't be exposed to a construction zone. At first we tried some contractors but as soon as they found out that Ridhwi was a doctor (which we tried unsuccessfully to hide), they got very expensive and they also couldn't do it on the timeline we were needing. After quite a bit of research we finally found an independent contractor that would gave us a very reasonable price on labor for only himself and we set the date to begin work. However, since we chose to not go with a team, it meant that we had to deal with ordering the flooring, underlayment, glue, etc. and pick it all up in Green Bay ourselves instead of having it taken care of for us. 

The house was unsafe for kids so, for a couple of weeks, we found a school to put them in full time from 8:30 am to 5:30 pm while we worked on the house. After some searching found a Montessori school we loved. The first day we drove an hour from Rapids to Wausau, dropped the kids off (I might have cried a little), and then rented a cargo van and drove an hour and a half to Green Bay to pick up our flooring. While we were driving, we realized it wasn't going to work to live in Rapids and commute to our new house so we made an executive decision and drove our van back to Rapids, shoved our mattress and the kid's mattresses in the van, packed some boxes and clothes, and officially "moved in" to our new home. Those  weeks were crazy because we could barely function in the house yet we were living there with nothing more than a few mattresses on the floor - no oven, no working washing machine, no internet, cable, nothing. We had a lot of microwavable food and picnics in our upstairs bedroom - where the kids mostly stayed when they were home. Over the weekend when they didn't have school I would take them on errands and to the library so Ridhwi and Mark (our contractor) could work on the floors without worrying about the kids.

We did a lot of the demo ourselves since we were on such a short timeline. Our contractor had a few previous commitments he had to take care of (understandably) but he was willing to work with us over the weekends, which we appreciated! The next two weeks were full of painting, doing the floors, and trying to give some sort of steady environment to the kids. I painted the entire main floor while Ridhwi scraped tile and grout, removing carpet, and taking tack strips out of the floor.  I think Ridhwi was glad to go back to the hospital after all the work on the house! After three weeks, the floors were completely finished and we could walk on them. We also had moved in and began to unpack. We had a few mishaps like losing all of the hardware for the cribs (which Ridhwi amazingly and painstakingly figured out how to put together). We got everything unpacked and cleaned the sawdust from the floors, counters, and bookshelves. We had some furniture delivered which, coming from a two bedroom apartment to a house, was very needed.  It's been busy and crazy but we are really happy with how it came together.

We've had to learn about random things too, from how to care for our new floors, how to care for granite countertops, how to properly operate our fireplace, and things about drywall, bathtub jets, electrical wiring, cable, furnaces, refrigerator filters, and various appliances that we never thought we would need to know.

It's been crazy moving twice and having home renovations in just 5 months, but we are happy to be here and are truly starting to feel settled. The kids are really liking the house - they have a big bedroom and plenty of room to run around. At first they wouldn't go to sleep without one of us in the room with them, but now they are back to their old schedule and are enjoying being here. Because we are so busy, we have decided to keep Amita in the Montessori school a few mornings a week, and she is loves it. In fact, I think it's the best thing we've done for her. I am planning on writing another blog post outlining all the reasons we love this school and how it is better than her previous school. Ridhwi and I are still talking about homeschooling versus alternative schooling and are still trying to figure out what we are comfortable with and research all of the options available in Wausau. 

So now I am enjoying being in our new home, watching the snow fall outside, and thanking God for my many blessings: a roof over our heads, a warm home, food on our table, my wonderful husband and children, and this life He's given me. 

Ridhwi spend many quality hours with that drill scraping tile grout off the floor. It was a painstaking and backbreaking process

The room behind the kitchen was turned into a homeschool room and the yellow room on the right is our dining room. Everything had to be scraped.

It really came together! (Yes, I already have up Christmas decorations)

The dining room is my favorite room in the house. It has windows on three sides and even with the snow outside it feels warm and cozy.

Wherein I Realize I Can Do This

Amita has now been in preschool for several months and to this day I still remain undecided how I feel about it. I put her in school in the summer so she was mixed with two year-olds for the first several weeks - until three year-old enrollment went up enough to warrant separating the classes and and moving the three year-olds to their own classroom. At first I was very disheartened because I didn't feel she was learning much - just playing all the time. I stay at home so I really don't feel it is necessary to pay for a daycare (which was essentially what I was doing at that point). However, once she went to the other classroom I started to feel better. She came home with weekly lesson plans and I would get updates from her teacher - a lovely woman with the patience of a Saint - about how she was improving: drinking from a big girl cup, eating her lunch, and, about a week ago, she played with someone in the classroom (a big deal for her)! She also really school and her teacher. 

HOWEVER.

She has been in school for almost three months and has only been able to tell me one new thing she learned (the recognition of a bongo drum). Everything else the kids are doing are things Amita already knows. Also, by the end of the week, Amita is D.O.N.E. with school and life in general. She goes from 8-12:30 on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, so she has to get up earlier than she is used to in order to eat breakfast and get ready. Then, by the time she gets home and calms down enough to sleep she barely gets a nap. I find myself spending all afternoon on Thursday and all day Friday trying to get her back on a schedule. Then, by the time she is a nice and wonderful child again, I have to start all over. I also have to wake Ashima up early to take Amita to school and she can be cranky throughout the day as well. 

My struggle is knowing where to draw the line between learning good social skills and learning academic material? Which is more important? Eventually, if I didn't put her in school, she would have learned these skills anyway, so what is she really gaining by being there?

I knew going into preschool that we were sending her essentially for social skills but I have to admit that I am rather disappointed by the lack of academic learning she has gained. I'm not expecting too much - I am simply expecting her to tell me anything that she doesn't already know. 

One day I was browsing on amazon and happened to see a butterfly kit for sale, where they send you caterpillars and you can follow them through their entire life cycle to chrysalides and finally butterflies. It was only $30.00 and I knew the girls would love it! Once I did that, I started looking at the library website online and came up with a lot of books and movies related to the butterfly life cycle. Then, I searched the internet, and came up with even more ideas! After that, my teacher brain took over and I started thinking up other lessons for different topics, including multi-media, art, nutrition, reading, and science. It was awesome! You can find the unit here. 

For the first time since I started this homeschooling journey I really felt as though I had it under control. I felt as though I could do it, for both kids, and I did! I am immensely proud of myself. Because the kids are still young and Amita is in school, I didn't push anything but rather fit in extra learning when we had the time - at most 20 minutes a day. 

I think for now we are going to have to find a balance between homeschool and preschool. We bought our house and have scheduled our move for the 6th of October and are trying to get some work done on the house before we move. In other words, things are crazy and honestly, it works well for me to have Amita in school so I only have one kid to take on house errands with me. We are doing enough at home that I am happy she will be learning new things academically.  While we are moving in our new home and getting settled I will keep Amita in school but I will most likely begin full-time preschool for 4-K. 

Another new development in my homeschool journey is that I attended a local homeschool moms gathering. It was very, very enlightening and made me feel much more confident about homeschooling to speak with other moms and find out how each person plans their day and what type of homeschooling they do (umbrella schools, online public school, unschooling, unit studies, online curricula, etc.). I have given it a lot of thought and really think they type of homeschooling I feel most comfortable with will include elective classes like art and music at a local school and the core classes like reading, science, and math schooled at home. I need to look more into the state laws regarding this, but, thanks to a great friend (that's you, Linda!) I have found a school that combines all of this with Calvert homeschool education. I finally feel I have found the right mix of home and school activities. I am still speaking with the representative and finding out more information, but so far I am liking what I am finding out.


So, this is where I am. I am barely keeping my head above water regarding the upcoming move, but I am feeling very confident about our schooling options going forward. We are going to leave Amita in school for now but are looking forward to starting a new preschool/K-12 curricula when I feel I am up to starting it - well after we are moved in and I am organized enough to begin.

This year has been a year of changes and everyone in the family is taking time to adjust. Things might be hectic right now, but they are a good kind of hectic. The kids are healthy and happy, my husband and I are in love, and we have a beautiful house we will soon be moving to. It is an exciting time in our lives and I am looking forward to our next (and final) move and being settled in our new home.

Making Stained Glass Butterflies

One of the girls' favorite activities during the butterfly unit was making "stained glass butterflies", so I thought I would share the lesson. It is very easy, and lots of fun! We made them three times because the girls loved them so much. I am pretty sure all the window in the house have at least one butterfly on them. This lesson could also easily be changed to fit any subject - cars, trains, etc.

Supplies: contact paper, tissue paper, scissors, and construction paper. 

Skills: fine motor skills, color recognition, and counting

First we read the book Glasswings, A Butterfly's Story by Eliza Kleven. I rented it from our local library. It is about a glass winged butterfly who gets lost in a big city and helps the other animals to grow a garden. 

Next, I took contact paper and cut it to approximately 12 X12, and then cut the outline of a butterfly out of construction paper to fit inside the frame of the contact paper (which I totally eyeballed), making sure to leave the sticky side up - this is where you will attach the tissue paper. I took a few sheets of whatever tissue paper I had lying around and cut it into small squares. Next, I had the girls put the tissue paper on the sticky side of the contact paper until all the space was filled. We talked about the different colors and counted how many pieces of paper were going on the butterfly and whether our butterflies looked like the butterfly in the story.

Amita was very diligent and tried to keep in within the outline of the butterfly

Ashima, not so much, but that's okay. She loved the process!

Then, I put them up on the window. Voila! When the light shines through, it looks like stained glass! So easy and fun with both kids!

Preschool Butterfly Life Cycle Unit - Includes Reading, Science, Math/Counting, Nutrition, Art, and Mixed Media

Below is a unit I made for teaching the girls about butterflies. I think this may be my key to doing preschool! I started right before the caterpillars came in the mail reading about caterpillar eggs and getting the girls really excited for the arrival of the caterpillars. once they arrived, we followed them through their life cycle and did appropriate activities for each stage, which I have listed below and divided by subject. Because Amita is currently in part time preschool, we did this unit over about 6 weeks - just taking our time and doing something when we got a chance. It turned out to be about 20 minutes a day of time and then we talked about it quite a lot throughout the day. All in all, it was a great success and now I have to decide the next unit I want to teach!

Science:

I bought a butterfly kit on amazon where they mail you baby caterpillars and provide everything you need to witness the entire life cycle of the butterfly. This is the only thing I purchased out of the entire unit.

Reading (all of these books I rented from the library):

Life Cycle:

Eggs, Legs, Wings: A Butterfly Life Cycle (First Graphics: Nature Cycles) by Sharon Knudsen

First The Egg by Laura Vaccaro Seeger 

This book is about all life cycles that start with eggs but it included butterflies so I thought it would still be good.

From Caterpillar to Butterfly

I also rented a book called Butterfly Eggs, a non-fiction book just about eggs, but I can't seem to find a picture.

Caterpillars:

Caterpillars by Marilyn Sinter

Butterfly Eggs

The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle

Butterflies:

Glasswings by Elisa Kleven

Butterfly by Mark Inkpen

Bird, Butterfly, Eel by James Prosek

Mixed Media:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Tvl6wz7e9M

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Tvl6wz7e9M

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFN4cuBiWns&list=PLF2371CE81ACC4017

I also rented these movies from the library:

Sorry it is sideways, I can't get it to rotate. I rented The Very Hungry Caterpillar and Other Stories and The Story of the Butterfly.

Music:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBkOOgEFi2s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Tvl6wz7e9M

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YVqHnw0W-Q

Nutrition:

For a nutrition aspect, I had the kids some of the foods mentioned in the Very Hungry Caterpillar. They LOVED it and still talk about the different kinds of food. Amita's favorite was the pickle and Ashima enjoyed the Salami.

Math/Counting: 

Art:

We made "stained glass" butterflies after reading Glasswings: A Butterfly's Story with contact paper, tissue paper, construction paper, and scissors.

We also made caterpillars out of circles and glued the circles together. With Ashima I worked on identifying colors when we did this. 

This link has a lot of butterfly coloring pages: http://www.coloring.ws/butterfly1.htm

I found this kit at Wal-Mart for $5.00 and we made these one day:

The girls really enjoy seeing them on the fridge every day!

Also:

It's the Small Things: On Having Some Time To Myself

As I've posted previously, one of the hardest things about residency for me was that I was only a mom. From sun up to sundown I was strictly mom and my only job was to take care of the house and care for the kids. If I was lucky, my role could also be modified to include wife for a few hours between when Ridhwi got home and before he went to bed but more often than not that was not the case. 

When we moved to Wisconsin I was adamant that I needed some time to myself - time to explore my own interests and also meet people and develop friendships outside the medical community. Part of this is because I feel like I need it, but part of it is because I want to teach the girls that it is important to have your own hobbies. I want to teach them to have have balance in their life and the best way to teach is through example. 

With Ridhwi's new schedule and changes with the new job, I've been able to get a babysitter a couple times a month while I take a pottery class.  I cannot tell you what these couple of hours mean to me. It is time for me to do something that really interests me and have some time of my own. The spinning of the wheel and molding of the clay with gentle music in the background relaxes me and helps me de-stress and focus. I have found that I am happier and have more patience with the kids, and love looking forward to it every week!

I'm not sure what I'll do when the class is over. Perhaps another one or maybe some art classes. Maybe I'll just spend some time reading at a cafe or volunteering somewhere. I've also always wanted to go back to school and get my Masters in Education or English. I don't really think it matters what I do, as long as I have the time. I feel like I am slowly starting to come back to myself in a role as wife, mother, friend, and just plain Laura. 

What my pottery class is like

Just kidding!

It started out like this

This is my first bowl

It is getting better every week! This is a plate I made two weeks ago

The Disillusionment of Going Back To College

I had an interesting experience a couple of weeks ago when we went to Madison for Ridhwi's work. He (Ridhwi) happened to come back to the hotel early and we decided to go out to dinner. We were celebrating one of our anniversaries (we have several, but that is another blog post) and decided to go some where semi-nice. I say "semi" because we had the kids in tow and you can only go to semi-nice places without people hating you for bringing them. We googled the area and found a Brazilian place that looked good. Our kids are definite meat eaters and we thought with the salad bar options we could find some thing for everyone in the family to be happy. It was a great dinner - minus a plate that fell on the floor and almost broke. Our waitress even helped make some sort of ghetto sippy cups out the the glasses with lids and masking tape she found in a basket (we really appreciated it). 

After we had finished eating we needed to walk off the copious amount of meat we ate and decided to walk around a bit (as you do after going to a Brazilian restaurant). We were happy to see that the downtown area had some neat shops and was pretty active. We imagined ourselves to be explorers (much like Dora) and headed toward the action. We thought it would be fun, new, and exciting. We thought that our kids would be angels with full meat bellies that would walk idly beside us only occasionally pointing out an interesting sight or amusing us with a small anecdote. What really happened is that their full meat bellies turned them into animal-children with no sense of concern for their personal safety. We made it about 12 feet before Ashima laid down in the parking lot and Amita refused to hold hands so we decided that additional safety measures must be taken. 

Now, before I tell you what happened next, I'm going to preface my actions with a justification. Twice Ashima has run away from me and onto a busy road; once I had to run into the road to stop the car that was scarily close to hitting her. After that incident, with tears in my eyes, I decided that I needed to get some sort of restraint for her when she is not in her stroller and we are in a highly trafficked area. She does not listen to directions, does not like to hold hands, and runs with no sense of self-preservation. So, I bought some "bracelets" that attach to both their wrist and my wrist. They are elastic so it's actually pretty good for the kids. They have a sense of freedom but they are not in any danger. I've always thought I would never be the sort of mom that put a leash on her kid but I guess I am. Ashima's safety is just too important to me. There is nothing that changes your mind about safety as your child almost getting hit by a car.

So, back to the story, we were walking and the kids were NOT behaving. I pulled out the leash for Ashima and Amita decided that she wanted one as well. Interestingly enough, Amita really likes her "bracelet". I think it makes her feel a safe connection to me while not holding my hand. All the better to explore with, and Amita loves to explore - just like Dora. ("Come on, Vaminos! Where are we going? To walk around!"). We chose buddies and started walking. The was the first time we were out in public with the leashes er… excuse me… "bracelets". We got a lot of knowing smiles from parents and a few strange and judgmental looks from what I'm assuming were non-parents. More than anything, though, I felt a huge sense of relief that I got to walk without having to constantly keep an eye on whether Ashima was going to run into traffic. It was nice and enjoyable, for a while. 

We eventually wandered onto the University of Wisconsin campus (which is beautiful, by the way). I went to the University of Kansas for two years and Emporia State College for two years (with a semester for studying abroad in England). Ridhwi did his 6 years of medical school at Katsturba Medical College at the Pokhra, Nepal, location. Both of us really enjoyed our college years and happily reminiscing as we were walking, whispering as we needed to for the parts we didn't want the kids to hear. We turned away from the University and found ourselves in a residential neighborhood. This is where I started to feel a bit self-conscious. You see, the evening classes had just gotten out and the sidewalks were full of headphone-wearing college kids hurrying home from class, scantily-clad females heading out for the night, and a pair of computer programers talking about code (we overheard their extremely nerdy conversation and snickered). We were also on the road containing sorority and fraternities for the University and the students were outside in the front yard playing horseshoes, listening to music, and drinking beer. 

It has always been a fervent wish of mine to go back to school and get an advanced degree in either english or education. However, life happens and Ridhwi's job is the one that pays the bills so residency and all that comes with it took precedence - and there is no way I could go with the kids as young as they are. A lot of people successfully do it, but I'm not sure I could. Since it's not necessary for anything at this point, it just hasn't happened. Maybe one day, though. 

The campus life at U of W looked like a lot of fun! I found myself wishing I could join in the game of horseshoes, thinking about whether I could transfer credits to the University, and generally daydreaming about college, when suddenly I felt a pull on my "bracelet" as Ashima wrapped herself around a tree. I was literally yanked out of my reverie to attend to my crying one year-old who desperately wanted to look in the drainage system on the side of the road. So these young college children, unaccustomed to hearing the cries of children, turned off the music and stared at us. It was that exact moment - when I felt the staring eyes of quite a few college students - that I realized I was an interloper and longer belonged in that crowd. I would no longer be able to hang out until 2 in the morning at my neighbor's apartment drinking beer, or smoke hookah and discuss literature (and gossip) with my classmates. I no longer had common interests with these people staring at me(unless they had some strange fascination with potty training and couponing). With this revelation in mind we kept walking around the neighborhood but it was not the same the same as it was before. Instead of imagining the students as my brethren - friends my own age with similar interests, I felt like a walking example for birth control. When we passed egg heads talking about their classes and intellectual pursuits I wanted to tell them that I used to be smart but I'm pretty sure that motherhood makes you lose some of mind (for real, it happens with pregnancy and never returns), and when we passed the students playing games and hanging out in front of their dormitories I wanted to tell them to enjoy drinking while they could because after one glass of wine nowadays all I want to do is go to bed and I still manage to feel hungover the next day. 

As I lay in bed that night (at the very late time of 10:00 pm), my head resting on Ridhwi's chest and the kids asleep in the bed next to us, I reflected upon what it was like going back to the University. While I enjoyed thinking about the good 'ol days and pretending for an extremely short period of time I might still fit in with that crowd, I realized that I wouldn't change what I have for anything. It is still a dream that some day I might go back to college for an advanced degree, but for the time being, I'll enjoy being a mommy and everything that comes with it, "bracelets" and all. 

Unfortunately, I didn't take a picture of the campus (so I had to use this stock one) but the campus was beautiful. We enjoyed walking around, even if we felt awkward part of the time.

100 Happy Days Update

I am about half way through my 100 Happy Days Challenge. So far I've found it to be both supremely annoying and very nice. It can be annoying because I set an alarm on my phone for 6 pm so I remember to get on Instagram to document my moment and inevitably the alarm goes off when I am in the middle of something important - usually making the kids dinner. However, no matter how frustrated I am or what is going on with my day, it is a chance to reflect.  Usually my happy moment it is something very small - seeing a duck in our front yard, enjoying the view out our living room window, or getting ice cream in the summer, but some times it is something large to be thankful for: an impromptu trip to Chicago during our move, the move itself, or our new home. It is nice to have the time to reflect on my day and the little moments within that make life so special. If you want to follow the rest of the challenge, you can follow on Instagram at #lauras100happydays.