The Wonderful Gift of the Second Child

I write a lot about Amita on this blog. She's the first child, so I am sort of "figuring things out" with her. She's also the only one old enough to do any sort of schooling, as Ashima is only 20 months right now. However, Ashima is always here adding her little baby opinion on how I run things and what she would like to do. The other night I was giving her a bottle (yes, she still takes a bottle *insert eye roll*) and stroking her little face thinking about how incredible she is. When I was pregnant with her, I often wondered what she would be like. Would she look like Amita? Act like her? I think most the pregnancy didn't seem "real" to me in the way that Amita's did. I obviously knew I was pregnant, gave up caffeine and alcohol, took my prenatals, and pretty much expected another Amita. I thought I knew exactly what to expect. 

Let's not even get into the completely different unmedicated (against my will) labor that was only 5 hours long. We were lucky we even made it to the hospital. The doctor arrived 3 minutes before she came out. When I first got a glimpse of Ashima, I was shocked. I'm not sure what I was expecting and it seems stupid now, but she looked nothing like her sister. She weighed more, she cried differently, she didn't have the abundance of hair that Amita had, she was just different. Her own little person.

During pregnancy, deep in the recesses of my heart, I had silently wondered if I could love Ashima as much as I loved Amita. It might make me a bad mom to say that, but I did. However, I shouldn't have worried. The second she was born, I learned that God does not take away the love you have for one child to make room for another, nor do you love one less. Instead, He makes your heart bigger for your next baby. I love them both an unimaginable about - but in two different ways. It's like the song lyrics to Murder in the City by the Avett Brothers:

"I wonder which brother is better/the one our parents love the most/I sure did get in lots of trouble/they seemed to let the other go. / I wondered what my dad would say/he said, "I love you and I'm proud of you both in so many different ways."

Don't get me wrong, first kids are amazing too. After all, they are the ones who make you a mother. They teach you how to be a parent. All of their firsts are your firsts too and that is an incredible experience. 

However, the second child (insert sigh). They are so similar yet distinctively dissimilar. They are the ones who help perfect your parenting skills or teach you that, in fact, you know nothing. They are just like their sibling, but nothing like their sibling. I still am amazed how how Amita and Ashima are different - yet strangely similar. Ashima has picked up on weird sayings of Amita, copies almost all of her sister's actions, and will often have sympathy tears to offer up when Amita is crying. She is loving and compassionate, strong and cuddly, and a definite leader. Ridhwi and I joke and say that all of the "bad" ideas that the girls come up with are Ashima's idea. She teaches Amita how to misbehave and then Amita tells on her and gets her in trouble. Ashima does not hold grudges, though (like Amita), she still loves her sister and they are good friends just minutes later. Ashima is easy to smile and just as easy to anger, and immensely fun to be around - she's the life of the party.

When I was pregnant, I would pray to God asking for a baby who liked to cuddle and boy did he give it to me! When Ashima was a baby she would only sleep if I was holding her. I don't know how many times the first couple of months when I would prop my arm up on a blanket, lay down, and take a small nap with her because it was the only time I would be able to sleep. Even now, at 20 months, she frequently cries and wants to come and sleep in Ridhwi's and my room in her portable crib. She loves to be held, loved, and cuddled, and I love the opportunity to do it.

One amazing thing about Ashima is that she just learns things. I feel like with Amita, ever since her speech problem, I've been constantly trying to think of things to teach her or she asks me to teach her things things - she gives me a clear path. With Ashima, I'll be reading to her and she will say words or point to things that I had been teaching Amita the day before. She already knows how to count to 10 and say three word sentences! It's truly amazing, especially when I think that Amita wasn't even saying a single word at this age. When I teach Amita, I teach Ashima too. 

I also feel like I've had more of a chance to "enjoy" Ashima. With Amita, at least during her baby phase, I was so worried about doing everything "right" and figuring out the technical details that the first few months passed by incredibly quickly (not only because we moved across the country). But with Ashima, we were settled and I purposefully asked that we don't get too many visitors right away. I already knew how to nurse, change diapers, give a bath, and generally what to expect. I was much more calm and had more time to just enjoy the baby phase. It was hectic with a 15 month-old and a newborn, but God doesn't give us anything we can't handle, and I did. It's neat to watch Ashima go through the same phases Amita went through and see if she acts the same or does something new. 

Perhaps one of the neatest things about having a second child is giving the oldest child automatic playmate and partner in crime. I love that the girls are close (for the most part) and that they play together. They are incredibly close in age and I'm guessing when they are 15 and 16 they will have some similar friends and be able to "hang out" together. I can only imagine when they are 30 and 31 and have families of their own. They will presumably start them around the same time and be able to have someone to support them and someone to lean on. At least, this is my hope. I am so happy to have been able to give them an automatic support system in life.

Having two children is wonderful, and I have found that each one is a gift in their own way. We intend to have one or two more children and I can't wait to see what surprises they have in store. I can't wait to see what their personalities are like and how they act. At the end of the Avett Brothers song I mentioned above, they sing, "Always remember there's nothing worth sharing like the love that let us share our name." It is such a powerful lyric - and completely true.  A family is one of God's greatest gifts, and I am so thankful to have been blessed with an abundance of love from my mine.

Parking Lot Safety

One of the hardest things about having two kids (at least for me) is dealing with getting them in the car, and then unloaded at our next stop. We live in an apartment complex and I am always worried about them running around when I'm not looking. The same goes for the grocery store which is a VERY busy grocery store with small parking spots and it can be easy to lose them when they run away.

Well, the other day I was surfing the internet, and saw a post on Pintrest that lead me to this link: http://www.parkingpalmagnet.com/Parking-Pal--Only-899_ep_7.html.

Apparently, someone had the good idea to put a magnet with a handprint on in and when you are putting one kid in the car, the other keeps their hand on the magnet. I don't particularly want hand magnets on my car, but I LOVED the concept and ran with it. I always put Ashima in the car first (because she has a harder time following directions) and so Amita has to keep her hand on the circle where the gas tank goes. She doesn't seem to mind and I don't have to worry where she is at all times! It was such a great idea I had to share. 

As My Trial Period Comes to an End...

The time is coming where my three month trial with The Learning Box is up. I have decided not to renew for a while - we are going to be having family up for Ridhwis' graduation in June and then we're moving! I am also a little behind. As motivated as I was with my new organization system (which is working really well), I am still lagging a bit. I think I need to find a better time to do the activities because if I have anything going on during the afternoon homeschooling seems to get pushed back and then doesn't happen. 

I'm thinking I'm going to take the summer "off" and I have a couple of reasons for this. The first is that with homeschooling I'll be able to take lots of random breaks whenever I want. It also lines up with summer and since we'll be moving to WI we need to enjoy the outside and the warm weather when we can! Also, just because I'm choosing to stop using The Learning Box does not mean I can't teach: trips to the zoo and a trip to Niagara Falls are plans for the near future as well as practicing letters and shapes with sidewalk chalk, fine motor skills and speech with blowing bubbles, swimming, bicycle riding, long walks, time at the park, etc. There are TONS of summertime actives which promote learning and I look forward to exploring them. I'll be sure to post the things I feel work well! 

I think that when I go back to The Learning Box in the fall I'll be in a much better place to be successful - I'll have the option of help if I would like it, I'll have MANY more activities (YMCA, summer camp, dance, music lessons, etc.) the girls can be involved in, and I'll have a lot more room since we'll be in a house instead of an apartment. Maybe I can even having a corner/room for homeschooling, the prep time would be SO much easier because I wouldn't have to get it out and organized every time.  

We are coming upon some big changes in our family and our life and I look forward to experiencing all the goodness the next couple of months hold. 

10 Things My Mother Taught Me (When She Didn't Realize It)

For Mother's Day, I decided to write a small piece dedicated to a great woman and one of my best friends: my mom.

Here are some of the greatest lessons I learned from my mom:

1. Always stick up for your kids. My mom was always my biggest advocate, and in many ways she still is. She taught me from a young age what it meant to believe in your children and to wholeheartedly encourage, support, and inspire. 

2. What it means to belong to a community. My mom was always active in different city and church organizations. She helped me understand the importance of belonging to a community and encouraged me to be active in extracurriculars in high school and college. Some of my best memories are because of those activities and I am so thankful I did them. While living in Michigan during Ridhwi's residency, I have not been able to be very active because of Ridhwi's work schedule and having two young kids. It makes me realize how important it is to be a part of a community and how much I miss it now that I'm away. This is one of the things I am looking forward to most when we move to Wisconsin next month- becoming active in the town. 

3. Don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself. It doesn't accomplish anything. Sometimes you have to pull up your big girl panties and do something to make your situation better.

4. Sometimes you just need your momma. No matter how old I am, some times I just need a hug from my mom.

5. The importance of helping others. My parents have always helped others and taught me to do so from an early age. Whether it is serving at a food kitchen, adopting children overseas through different organizations, or letting friends crash at our house when they need to, my parents have always been open and loving to those in need. My mom is also one of the most compassionate people I have ever met, bar none. Any time I need her she is ready to listen not with her ears, but with her heart.

6. The beauty of a strong marriage. This is one of the most beautiful things my mother has taught me - something that has greatly enriched my own life. My parents have been happily married for 35 years. They taught me that true love is selfless and kind, and what it means to truly and wholly love your spouse. 

7. The value of hard work. My parents owned a business when I was growing up, and they definitely had to work to make it successful. Long nights, early mornings, and business trips were common. However, no matter how hard my parents worked, they always made family a priority. This lesson also applied to school. I've always had a tough time with math - no matter how hard I tried. I remember once in college I got a C- on a test after weeks of studying. I was really upset and drove home to have dinner with my parents. They asked me a simple question, "did you try your best?" I replied I did and they said, "then that's all we can ask for". I realized at that moment a very important life lesson - that sometimes all you can do is your very best and you should be proud of the work you have done, regardless of a grade. I was a better person for the hard work I had put in and that was what was important. 


8. How to be an adult. By the time I left for college, I could cook, do my own laundry, manage my finances, and generally be independent. I was taught these lessons growing up and I was thankful that when I moved away from home I was emotionally and physically able to take care of myself. I didn't go through an "idiot" phase in life while I learned tough life lessons because I had been taught them at home before I left. 


9. The importance of doing the right thing. My mom has alway taught me to do what is right, even if it is hard. Not only has she shown me through examples in her own life, but also has lovingly guided me through problems in my own, helping to shape me into the person I am today.


10. How to be a mother. Perhaps the greatest lesson my mom has taught me is how to be a mother to my own children. Many times I find myself calling and asking for advice. I value her experience and I am so grateful to have her in my life. One of the most unforgettable moments of my life is when she walked in my hospital room after having delivered Amita and my mom saw her for the first time - I'll never forget the look on her face. She looked back at me and it was as though our bond had somehow strengthened - I understood all the times she said, "when you're a mother you'll understand" and how she would say that there was nothing stronger than a mother's love. She was absolutely right. In that moment I finally understood the extent to which she loved and cared for me all those years.


So here's to you, mom. I love you.  I sincerely hope you have a happy Mother's Day. Wish we could be there to celebrate with you.

That's Important to Me

I've always been a rebel at heart, a person who likes to go against "the man" and do things my own way. I've always held my convictions very strongly to my chest and have no problem sharing them. However, I've noticed in the last couple of years I've gotten pretty mellow in terms of my mood, feelings, and emotions. I'm more sensitive than I used to be, more accepting than I used to be, and just generally a more relaxed person. It's not like I was trying to be high strung earlier, I'm just not, now. About two years ago I was hanging on to something petty - still angry and hurt about it nearly a year after it happened. I also had a hard time after Amita was born adjusting to motherhood and the move to Michigan and I never really got over that either. I remember thinking to myself, "Am I being the person I want to be?" and "Is this the best you've got to offer the world?" I realized it wasn't, and I didn't like that about myself.

Over time I've been working on being a better person - the person I want and strive to be- and it has made me infinitely happier. I'm not sure if it was quitting my job, becoming a mom, moving away from family, getting older, or a combination of all of those (most likely), but I've come to really enjoy where I am in life. That's not to say that everything is perfect all the time and I don't get stressed out. It's just to say that when I close my eyes at the end of the day, I am happy. Happy in a way wasn't "before". Before what, I'm not sure. I just know that I didn't use to feel like this, and now I do. Since moving I have been really concentrating on things I feel are truly important - things that make me happy and give me peace - and trying to weed the "junk" out of my life. 

Inspired by the song "That's Important to Me" by Joey + Rory (the best singer/songwriter duo in country music, in my humble opinion), I have compiled a list of the things that are important to me, large or small. The things/beliefs/attitudes that make a difference in my life - things that mean something to me. So, without further ado, here are the things have affect me and make me happy, in no particular order.

Family. I love them "with a love that is greater than love", to borrow from Poe. There is nothing more important to me than them. Nothing.

Television - or lack thereof. I gave up TV once Amita was old enough to start paying attention and it has been one of the best things I've ever done. I don't need that crap and neither do the kids. I let them watch a show or two on Netflix every now and again but they don't constantly watch it. I am never up to date with current events but I don't care. Ridhwi and I watch one show a night (usually a series) and that's it. I could do without that too but Ridhwi likes TV so we do it together. If I don't like what he's picked I just read a book. I don't miss it at all.

Yoga. Yoga calms and relaxes me. It makes me more in tune with my body. When I lived in Platte City, MO, and went to class with Jackie, it was like a religious experience for me.

Candles and incense. I like them. This might sound like a small thing, but there are few things greater in life than lighting a cinnamon Yankee Candle, making some hot chocolate, and watching a movie in the fall. It's the little things.

Having good finances. Staying out of debt (the bad kind) and living within our means is very important to Ridhwi and I. We might have to make sacrifices, but we do it.  

Living somewhere I can "breathe". I am not a big city person. I get claustrophobic. Sure, I like visiting our family in New York City but I couldn't live there. I want a place with a bit of land for a garden, where I can sit on a porch and watch the sunset, and watch my kids run in the yard.

Music. I really like 90's Country, 70's rock, Americana, and Bluegrass. My favorite bands are the Avett Brothers and Joey + Rory (they speak to my heart). Again, it's the small things.

Being a mom. It is important to me that I am the best mom I can be. My children deserve no less. It doesn't mean that I am perfect or that I have completely given my life to my kids, it just means that I want them to be happy, healthy, intelligent, and kind people, and I try to make that happen.

Loving my husband. Few things in life are worth the time and investment as a marriage. A healthy, strong marriage is such a beautiful thing and I am so thankful that I get to be a part of one. That doesn't mean that Ridhwi and I don't work at it, we certainly do. Each day we make sure they other person's needs come before our own and we have to make communication a priority, but the rewards that come from that are amazing. I'm so in love with Ridhwi.

Cooking. Not only do I find it relaxing, I enjoy giving my family something that I lovingly made for them.

Books. Nothing is better than getting caught up in a good book.

Believing that you get out of the world what you put in. Being slow to anger, understanding others, forgiving quickly, and loving in abundance, are very important to me. It's not always easy but I do my best and make conscious decisions to change my thoughts/behavior to be a better person. Do I find myself thinking that the girl next to me shouldn't have worn that outfit? Sure, but I keep it to myself. The energy we put out in the world returns to us. Why put unnecessary negative thoughts and feelings in the world? Enough bad energy exists without unnecessarily and consciously adding to it, thank you very much.

Opening the windows in the spring. Ridhwi doesn't understand this one but I'm telling you, the crisp air, the gentle breeze, the sounds of nature, it's something I look forward to every year, allergies be damned.

Spending time with God - in any form. During Ridhwi's residency we have not been able to go to church as much as I would like and strangely enough, my spirituality is at an all time high. I think the more time you spend in prayer (from where ever you might be), the more the Holy Spirit fills you and helps you spread that peace to others. We pray with the kids daily and I do daily meditation before bed.

Doing what you enjoy every day. I really enjoyed teaching but I didn't enjoy dealing with some of the kids and politics in the school. I also really want to spend these years with my kids. I am lucky enough to be able to be a stay-at-home mom and have come to really enjoy it.

Some times it is better to be a nice person than to be "right".  Some people get so caught up in being right that they don't realize they are being offensive and hurting people. I'm not sure why they feel the need to do so, but being a good person is always the road we should choose, even it means accepting that other people are allowed to do things differently from you. Just because you may be "right" or "telling the truth" doesn't mean you're not being an ass.

No longer feeling as though I need to make other people think/feel the same things I feel. You know what? We're all different. It's not my job to worry about the state of your eternal soul or your conscience.  It is more important to be nice and respectful, and do the things that bring everyone peace. You want to commune with aliens on your head in the desert? Go ahead, if it makes you happy. We are all allowed to have different ideas (as long as they don't hurt anyone else). It's what makes us all unique and interesting. Let's just live in peace with each other.

Realizing that I am the only one in charge of my feelings/actions. Am I feeling hurt, stressed, emotional? I can choose to feel differently. My emotions are not out of my control. This has not been an easy realization, but it is true. It is not always easy to do, some times I want nothing more than to flip off a bad driver (and there are plenty in Michigan) or dwell on something that hurt me or makes me angry. But you know what? Those negative emotions and feelings affect me, no one else. I feel much better when I choose to forgive someone and move on, or choose to assume the best of a person (they must be driving their pregnant wife to the hospital to deliver a baby, right?). I don't let people walk on me but I do consciously choose to see the best in the world and dwell on positive things.

I want to be a good person. To enjoy life as best I can while I'm here. To love my family with abandon.  To live in a house that I have made a home and is filled with things I love, to show others how much I love them, and enjoy the simple things life has to offer. These things are the things that are important to me.

Not-Just-For-Easter Egg Hunt

My husband had to work the entire Easter weekend - Saturday until Sunday afternoon in the hospital. Because of this, we had our own family egg hunt late Sunday in the front of our apartment so Daddy could partake in the festivities. 

One thing I learned having my own egg hunt instead of going somewhere - egg hunts are AWESOME! Do you know how engaged my kids were? First, they ran around for a long time. Then, they sat very nicely while we opened each egg and put the jellybeans in a bag. For Amita, it was also learning experience. She was identifying colors and counting each jellybean. They also behaved after that for a long time. The whole hunt took about an hour. The only downside was protecting the eggs from the 5 year-old neighbor hoodlums-in-training who told me that if I put the eggs on the pavement they would run over them with their bikes and then eat the candy. They then kept a close eye on our activities until the eggs were picked up.

I'm thinking I could do several educational things:

1. Puzzle pieces - put the puzzle together at the end
2. Pieces of paper with letter or words. Once they are old enough to read they could put sentences/stories/poems together using the words
3. Magnetic letters - I could have them match the upper to the lowercase as well as just identify them
4. Pictures of Animals - we can talk about each animal and the sound it makes
5. Fill them with clues (when the kids are older) of where a bigger "prize" is hidden
6. Coloring book pages

And some non-educational things:

1. Stickers
2. Jelly bracelets
3. Goldfish crackers or some other snack- make 'em work for their food, ha!
4. Rocks. For some reason Amita has a weird thing about rocks. She really likes them. Poor Ashima probably wouldn't enjoy this one very much.
5. Nothing- you gotta keep 'em on their toes!
6. Their own toys - they'll be like new again!
7. Hair ties - they love them
8. Band aids - Amita thinks they are the newest craze in fashion
9. Crayons

My sweet babies. 

Book Review - The Everything Homeschooling Book

I give this book a 10/10. It is available here. 


I really enjoyed reading this book. It gave me a lot of insight and very helpful, practical advice about how to successfully homeschool. It includes resources, including many websites, strategies, and methods. It also has different educational activities and examples for K-12 which includes information about different learning styles and specific needs. It also included something that was really good for me - a typical homeschool day - which is one question I still have unanswered for if we decide to continue K-12. 

I think this book is incredibly helpful and I intend to purchase it so I can reference it if I have a question. This one is a winner!

Awesome Alphabet Learning Circle

I was on pintrest the other day pinning a bunch of recipes I want to keep. While I was there, I saw a pin about putting the alphabet on the floor. Since we've been working pretty hard on lower case letters (Amita only knows upper case) I decided to do it. What I couldn't imagine is how much the kids love it. Mommy for the win!

I used painters tape so it comes off easily. Also, let me tell you, I've never had greater appreciation for letters like X, T, and Z. Those round letters can be difficult and I hope they don't come off if the kids step on them. Also, if I had thought of it, I might have somehow pre-spaced my letters. I went from thinking I had too much space to having too little. I am not going to redo it, though, I had just enough tape so I'll have to take it as it is.

Possible games/activities I've thought of using the circle: 

1. Assigning each kid a letter - when I read books they have to sit on that letter while I read (also keeps them from crowding me and pulling each other's hair as I read - definitely a great idea!). 
2. Musical Letters - dancing/marching around the circle when music is on, turning it off, and having them run to a letter. 
3. Having them trace the letters with their fingers.
4. Placing corresponding objects on the letters - plastic eggs on the letter E, a bear on the letter B, etc. 

Can you think of any games? If so, please comment and I'll add them to the list!

Mommy Motivation

I had a horrible day last week. The kids were terrible, they wouldn't nap, I hadn't been able to take a shower, and the apartment desperately needed to be cleaned (like, bad). I remember sitting on the floor holding two crying kids, thinking about calling my mom, crying, and asking her asking her to get on a plane and come and help me.

After a few minutes of self-pity, I realized that wasn't really an option (my mom lives in Kansas, I live in Michigan). So, I pulled up my big girl panties and tried to make the situation better. I made funny faces, and tried to tickle the kids, read books, tried turning on music and dancing, everything I could think of.  Nothing worked. Eventually gave up I turned on Veggietales and that distracted them for long enough that I was able to take a shower and get some housework done.

While all of that was going on, I kept thinking to myself, "can I really do this for the next 15+ years?" and "is this what it will be like when I homeschool?" So, I got on the internet and googled all sorts of combinations of the words mommy, homeschooling, and motivation,  thinking that I would immediately feel refreshed and renewed by reading some words of wisdom. Do you know what came up? NOTHING. At least, nothing useful. Plenty exists about how to get kids motivated while homeschooling and how to make them interested in the material, do their lessons, etc. Am I the only one who gets overwhelmed with the idea that I will be completely in charge of my children's education? Am I the only one who gets overwhelmed when the kids are a mess? What do those perfect homeschooling moms do when their kids won't stop crying long enough to get a few words in, let alone any sort of lesson? Where are the blogs about that, HUH?

I am working under the assumption that these bloggers want to keep up the illusion of a perfect house with perfect children and a perfect homeschooling day. The is not the case in my house, though, and I don't mind telling you that. 

As I've mentioned before, I started doing a homeschool curriculum that is mailed to our house every month. I bought it partly because of the convenience factor and partly because of the creativity factor (namely, my lack thereof). It is a three day a week curriculum because Amita is only two and soon to be three and doesn't need to be spending too much time in "school". She's still my baby and needs free play. The part that I did not consider when I purchased this curriculum was the prep time - which is quite a bit (an hour or so) the first day it comes. It might not seem like a lot but when I'm by myself with the kids it is really hard to find uninterrupted time to complete the necessary prep. Then, I started feeling guilty because we spent money on a curriculum and I hadn't used it in over a week. Then, I got behind and wondered if I could do a lesson on clouds during any month other than April, as the curriculum stated. Surely, not, right? Then I thought, "why in the world am I wondering about this?" It is obviously not the most important thought I've ever had. I was getting myself worked up for no reason.

Last week at Amita's swim lessons, the instructor had the kids floating on their backs for 10 seconds. She would count to 10 in english and spanish. About three days later, we went to the grocery store and I asked Amita to count how many apples I had put in the bag. She promptly says, "uno dos, tres, cuatro, cinco." NO JOKE. I couldn't believe it. Then, to top off this moment, Ridhwi turns to me and says, "Amita is not being challenged enough".  I was shocked. Then, I felt bad. Why am I not teaching her mandarin, japanese, german, or all the other languages? Should I start her multiplication tables? How should I challenge her? I had to shamefully admit to Ridhwi that I had not been keeping with my homeschooling routine after I had promised I would. Also, if I complete my walk of shame, Amita had been asking for "school" but I had said no a few times because we were out or I was doing housework. Amita really loves to learn new things - she yearns for it and thrives for knowledge. Then I thought maybe I should just throw her into a preschool, see what happens, and be done with this whole homeschool thing. 

What I decided was that I needed some more organization. As hard as I tried, I was still pretty unorganized about the whole homeschooling thing. I blame Maxwell. No, really, I'm learning as I go. So, on a trip to Target, I decided I needed a filing box and folders (I also decided I needed new cups with neat sippy straws, plates, sunglasses, and shoes for the girls. Target is dangerous.). I then divided the folders into days and then went through the curriculum once the girls were asleep and split it up into each day. It was nice because if I had, for instance, a doctor's appointment one day, I could skip a lesson for that day and plan it for the next day. Since I planned ahead I knew I wouldn't get behind. I'm really excited to "start over" this month and if I have extra time I've got the lessons from the previous month to fill some time if I need.

Mommy motivation is something I struggle with some days. One thing I'm learning about homeschooling is that it does not need to be so organized. If I miss a day, I can make it up another day/time. That's the great thing about what I'm doing. I can plan my life around, well, life. My motivation is deep within me and I think once I find the right system I'll feel not as overwhelmed. While it is really hard for me to let go of some of my need for organization, I need to realize that the kids are not always at their best, much like me. It is better to be flexible with a large plan than inflexible with a small plan. Some days I will do nothing while other I will accomplish multiple lessons. When I look at the larger picture I feel less overwhelmed. I realize that this won't work for everyone - some people are awesome at winging it (I am jealous) but that's just not my teaching style. Not while I was teaching in school and not while I'm doing homeschool. I really think this system will work and once I get the hang of it, I'll have my mommy motivation back. 

Surely this will motivate ANYONE, right? 

Did you notice that I even put the little cards up for each day of the month?  I WILL do this!

I planned the whole month in advance with every lesson. I left at least a day in between in case I need to drag out lessons or something comes up and I can't do a lesson that day. No more feeling overwhelmed!

Book Review: Home Learning Year by Year

I give this book at 9/10. It is available here. 

I originally rented the book from the library and ended up purchasing it from amazon. I found it incredibly helpful and informative. 

Let me start out by saying the only reason I didn't give it a 10/10 is because the copyright is 2000. The one I bought on amazon is 2009, so it is still out of date. However, the information is so informative I decided it didn't matter. 

The book is divided into 14 sections - preschool through 12th grade. Each section is subdivided into different subjects and corresponding resources for the subject. So, if you were interested in Preschool, you could find information about preschool, early childhood resources, magazines for parents, magazines for preschoolers, books for parents, books and resources from kids, and best reading lists. If you were interested in 6th grade mathematics, you could find information on what they should know in 6th grade, number theory, ratio and percent, fractions and decimals, operations, measurement, probability and statistics, geometry, and pre algebra. They also have non-core subjects like music, foreign language, health and physical education, and art covered. This book is an organized list of resources and age appropriate materials - a perfect resource for me.

One of my biggest questions about homeschooling was how I was going to know grade-level indicators. This book answers that question and gives me confidence and peace of mind that I will not be leaving anything out of my homeschooling curriculum.

This book is a keeper!

Side note: I think this book could be very informative for parents with children in school to make sure they are meeting all necessary milestones and learning goals. Additionally, I think it could be useful for teachers since it has some great resources and ideas. 

Learning to Love Being a Stay-At-Home Mom

Growing up, I never thought I would be a Stay-At-Home Mom (SAHM). I wanted to be Teacher of the Year. I wanted to inspire young minds, excite kids about reading, teach eager young minds the wonders and joys of a great novel, help students become awesome readers, writers, people, and citizens. I wanted to change lives.

Two weeks after Amita was born in 2011, we moved to Michigan for Ridhwi's residency. At that time, we faced two decisions: I could work or stay at home. If I worked, I needed to begin applying for jobs immediately. I didn't have a Michigan teaching license or daycare lined up. I also took a really long time to heal from Amita's birth (three months) and wasn't feeling particularly up to being up and around, let alone working. The move was hard enough! The thought of going back to work? It was difficult for me, to say the least. I was also completely in love with my little baby girl. I was scared to be a first-time mom with no family nearby and I was even more scared at the thought of putting her in a daycare and not seeing her.

So Ridhwi (who is such a supportive husband) and I went over the numbers and figured out we could wing it. We both liked the idea of me staying at home, and we were excited about doing it. 

I decided that if I was going to be a SAHM, I would be the best SAHM mom I could be. I would be a pintrest-worthy mom. I would make my own laundry soap, make my own baby food, have a perfectly clean house and my children would grow up to be awesome!

At first, it was wonderful. It was like I lived in a dream, a perfect world where I could sleep in, read, watch TV, practice cooking - anything I wanted! After teaching while pregnant, giving birth, and moving across the country, I really enjoyed the break. I took the baby for walks, got a library card, and explored the community. I was happy. However, it was only about two months before I got sick of daytime TV, I didn't want to read all day, Amita was growing and not allowing me the blocks of time to do the things I had been doing, and winter was coming so walks were no longer an option. I started to become restless. Suddenly, only talking to the check-out person at the grocery store didn't hold as much appeal as it did before. I missed all my friends. I missed my husband (who was always gone for work). I missed my family. I missed having intelligent conversations. I missed making lessons plans and my visiting with students.  However, I would look at my little baby's face and I couldn't imagine being anywhere but with her - she was worth every bit of the sacrifice. I wanted to stay at home with her more than I wanted good conversations (although, I will tell you, baby Amita could be a pretty good conversationalist too). I wondered what was wrong with me. I should be so thankful and lucky to stay at home - I should be glad we were able to do it financially.

I was also married to a man who was in his first year of residency. I counted once that he went seven days without seeing Amita because he got home after she was asleep and went to work before she got up. He consistently worked 16-17 hour days and when he was home he needed sleep. I was basically on my own, night and day. 

It was hard. I loved my kid and wanted to spend time with her but I missed working too. Then, when Amita was six months old, I found out I was pregnant again. I knew I wouldn't be going back to work, at least not during residency. My paycheck would barely cover the cost of daycare so it wasn't practical. I also couldn't imagine working and keeping up the house completely by myself, which I would have to do. I was much like a single parent. The more Amita grew, the less lonely I felt and the more work was needed to care for her. I was also very sick during my pregnancy and had a growing belly and doctor's appointments, so that took my attention too. 

Eventually I learned the names of the check-out people at the grocery store and they learned mine. A fellow resident-wife and I had started a mom's group and we met once a week. They were a great source of support. I also stared Parents as Teachers. I was busy and feeling happy and… important. I hate to use that word, important, but it's the right word. I had been feeling unimportant before. When I realized it, I thought to myself, "how could you be feeling unimportant, you're growing and raising human beings!" It didn't change the way I felt, though. I missed feeling like a professional. I missed human interaction. I hated that sometimes, the only person I would talk to all day was Ridhwi. 

With time, and as the kids get older, I've come to see exactly how much I do and how important is is to our family. We really would not have been able to get through Ridhw's residency without me staying at home. Now that the kids are older I am constantly busy I find myself longing for the early days with Amita where I had time to work on personal projects and only one kid. I don't get frustrated because I do things over and over again that never seem to be finished - like laundry and dishes. Instead, I think about how good of an example I'm setting for my children, I'm showing them how to make a home. There are still days where the only person I talk to is Ridhwi. But he is always there for me to talk to and he lets me talk endlessly about my post office frustrations (or whatever I need to talk about). He constantly tells me how much he appreciates all I do for him and the family. He loves me and understands me and this helps tremendously. 

The biggest thing I've learned about being a SAHM: It's a completely different way of thinking. Instead of feeling good because I made a good lesson plan, I feel good because the girls give me hugs and tell me they love me. Instead of staying up late grading papers, I stay up late folding laundry. Instead of getting up early to commute to work, I get up early with my wonderful children and feed them a healthy breakfast. 

Now that we've decided to homeschool, I think I will get some of that professional satisfaction back (it is NOT the reason we decided to homeschool, for the record). When I think about what I wanted with my life: to be Teacher of the Year, inspire young minds, excite kids about reading, teach eager young minds the wonders and joys of a great novel, help children become awesome writers, people, citizens, and to change lives - I realized that I will be doing ALL of those things. Instead of doing them with other people's children, I'll be doing them with my own! This was an incredibly exciting realization for me. 

I've never become a pintrest-worthy mom. I've yet to make my own laundry soap, I tried making my own baby food once and decided it wasn't worth it when Ashima spit it all over my face, and my kids are not always perfect and the house is not always clean.

When I told my mom I was going to stay at home with the kids, she told me that some days I would do little more than hold my kids and some days would be incredibly productive. I've found that to be a very true piece of advice. Some days the house is a mess and I don't get a shower until the kids nap and other days I've gotten more done before 10:00 than I did the entire week before. I have learned to take one day at a time and enjoy each moment with my children. 

It has been a little bit of a rough transition for me, learning to love being a stay-at-home-mom. I feel bad when I'm with my husband's coworkers and feel I have nothing to add to their conversation except that I found a really good coupon this week or to talk about Amita's success with potty training. I'll never get a promotion or win any awards, but I've realized that that is okay. I'm doing one of the most important things in the world - raising my children. 

Every day I am so proud of them. I am proud of the people they are and the people they are becoming. I am proud of them on the bad days and the good days. And you know what? I've come to realize that is all the professional satisfaction I need. 

Book Review: The Complete Daily Curriculum - Over 1200 Easy Activities to Support Multiple Intelligences and Learning Styles.

I would give this book a 6/10 for homeschooling parents and a 9/10 for traditional preschool teachers. It is available here.

This book would be very useful in a traditional preschool with many students, supplies, materials, and a library, but I found it a bit cumbersome in a homeschool environment with one child and limited materials.

The Complete Daily Curriculum has A LOT of activities - many more than is advertised on the front cover because each activity is expanded to include multiple intelligences. Ideally, you could pick which learning style your child would respond to best and use that only those activities for that style. Once neat aspect of the book is that they have "story circle" books - independent children's books that are related to the theme of each activity. This would be very useful in a traditional school. In a homeschool environment, though, I would have to go to the library and check out the books in advance of even doing the activity.

All of the activities needed quite a bit of prep time. I discovered that I would prefer to find something online that required less prep time than use a lesson in the book. There is an appendix in the back with worksheets and cutouts. They were really neat and could be a lot of fun to do but I didn't find them useful because I don't have a copier, scanner, scrap materials, etc. In a school it would be very useful because all of those things are readily available but it just isn't practical for homeschoolers. For instance, in one activity, I was to find feathers, 6 books for story time, print and cut out 2 pictures from the index, get out crayons and scissors, and paper. This is in addition to learning 3 songs from the index to teach. It's too much work for me for one single lesson! 

I was glad to have a chance to go through it and get a few ideas but I will not be purchasing this book. 

Color Recognition and Sorting

Amita has a hard time with colors. I have a difficult time understanding why this is when she can count to 20, count to 10 in Spanish and Bengali (my husband's mother tongue), and recognize words and all of the letters of the alphabet. If she can do all of that, why can's she recognize the color yellow? It baffles me. Because of that we've been hitting the color recognition pretty hard. There are some color activities in The Learning Box, which, as I've mentioned, is the curriculum I'm using. However, some of it is too advanced for Amita so I decided to supplement with my own stuff. 

So, the other day I was on the internet looking for ideas and I saw a post about someone using an egg crate to do some sorting and a stroke of brilliance hit me. "AH HA!", I thought to myself, "I know what to do!!!!" Whew. So, the next time I was at the grocery store, I bought a bag of different colored poms, similar to these. 

Basically, what I do is hold up one pom, make her identify the color, then put it in a spot in the egg crate. The next time I show her a pom of the same color, it goes in the same spot as the previous color until that spot is full. Since Amita is very tactile and loves organization, this is a great thing for her. I'm not sure if it would ever work with Ashima because I'm not sure she would care if the colors went together or not. 

She basically gets a double whammy because she recognizes the colors twice. Once to name it and a second to put it in the corresponding spot in the egg crate.

Eventually, once she gets the color thing down, I want to move to sorting not only by color, but size too.  

Why We Should All Be Card Holding Members of the "Moms Club"

It started when I  got pregnant. At first, I chalked it up to the fact that it was my first pregnancy and people wanted to help. It got worse as the pregnancy progressed: strangers would ask me personal questions and everyone made sure I knew their opinions on everything baby related. Then, I had Amita and I became intimately familiar with the Mommy Wars.

What are the Mommy Wars? Mommy Wars are the fighting, bickering, judgments, and superior attitudes that moms show other moms, especially in relation to topics about nursing, vaccinations, schooling, sleep habits, and diet. Oh, and just about everything else.

Why do we as mothers feel the need to pick each other apart and put each other down? Do other people really think they are the perfect parent? 

We, as parents, all try to do the very best we can. We make decisions for our families based on the needs of the family. So why does everyone feel the need to judge others? Parenting is hard. What we should all do is show support for other parents. For those that choose to bottle feed their babies instead of breastfeed, who cares? The baby has a full belly at night and lots of love - that's what's really important, right?  One mom uses the cry it out method to get her child to sleep, so what? How does that affect you and your sense of right and wrong? If it gives that mother peace and makes her life easier, then good for her. We all need a little more peace in our lives and should encourage other mothers to have the same.

I used to be a part of a Facebook group called Mommy Support. This was the least supportive group I have ever been a part of. At first, before I realized the group was extremely unhelpful, I invited all of my friends to be a part of it, a request for which I would like to publicly apologize. I'm guessing all it did was make my friends angry and upset, bring down their self-esteem, or make them think they are the worst parent ever, like it did me. Sorry, really. I have since left the group because I figured I would soon be put on high blood pressure medication if I didn't. I think they should re-name the group Mommy Judgment: How to Judge Other Moms Who Are Different From You. That would be an accurate name.

I, personally, like to operate by what I call the Pioneer Woman Parenting Attitude. This is how it works: if you are wondering about something parenting related, you ask yourself, "is this something a pioneer woman would care about?" Often times, the answer is no, unless it's really important, like "should I feed my child?" In that case, if a pioneer woman would care about it, the answer is "yes!". Let's do another example."Should I use a sleep sack or a blanket?" Would a pioneer woman care about using a sleep sack or a blanket? NO. She would be thankful that her children are warm at night. Would she care about what brand of shoes her child has, or if they are soft soled or hard soled? NO. She would be glad simply to have shoes to put in his/her feet. This is how I wade through was is really important in parenting and what is not. That's not to say that I don't have my own opinions on these things but I don't feel like they are the most important parenting decisions I'll make. What's really important? Raising polite, motivated, decent human beings. Those things matter - not how long a person nurses their child, or how they choose to educate their children, what they feed them, or how they get their kids to go to sleep at night.

The only thing we should ask of other mothers: to be the very best mom they can. Until we find an example the perfect parent and that person writes a parenting manual we can all agree to follow, we should stop judging. Here's an idea: how about instead of chewing out someone we've never met on the internet, we take the additional time and spend it with our families? We should not tell others what to do (unless they are doing something to harm their child). We have no right to judge someone until we've walked in their shoes.

One very good piece of advice my mom gave me when I was pregnant? She told me that no one hugs you like your mom. It doesn't matter if she holds you a different way, or if she puts her right hand over her left of vice versa. The hug feels good simply because your mom is showing you she loves you. We all may do things differently but you know what? We're all similar in that we love our children and want what is best for them.

So let's all be card holding members of the Mommy Club. Let's support, uplift, help, and encourage other moms. We don't have to agree with another mom's decision to see she is trying her best. And you know what? That's okay. It's okay for someone to do something different, it's all a part of this wonderful, amazing, and tremendous gift of parenthood we've been given.

Counting and Basic Math

Amita REALLY likes counting. Like, a lot.

Because of that, we count everything. We count the bits of food on her high chair, the butterflies on the wall, the apples in the bowl, etc. She can now count up to 15 on her own and 20 with help (proud mommy moment).

She also really likes using manipulatives to learn and playing with new things. I'm pretty sure that one of her learning styles is kinesthetic. I keep all of my "school" supplies away from her regular toys so it is a big treat for her to get to play with something new.

While she enjoys counting, she does not recognize written numbers. In order to try and implement an activity where she can practice both, I got some popsicle sticks and wrote numbers on them and we practiced counting. First we just counted, then we put them in the correct written order.

It was a very short activity (3-5 minutes) but it helped her! I think repeating it a few times a week and she'll have it!

Book Review: Mudpies to Magnets - A Preschool Science Curriculum

I give the book a 10/10. I originally rented it from the library but ended up purchasing it for future use. It is available here.

Mudpies to Magnets is divided into eight categories: science center activities, circle time activities, construction and measurement, paints and prints, science for a special place (meaning messy activities), health and nutrition, outdoor science, creativity and movement, and hodge podge.

Lessons include key words, materials, directions, discussion questions, and ways to expand the "experiment". Lessons are broken down and explained clearly. I had no trouble understanding what I was supposed to do.

Each lesson is labeled with its corresponding age, 3 year-old, 4 year-old, or 5 year-old, so parents don't have to read the entire lesson to determine if it is age appropriate. A definite time saver!

The lessons are very creative yet rooted in important scientific concepts. They are not overwhelming to do with a young child and don't seem to create too much a mess. Additionally, they don't need more than basic prep work: some time to gather materials (mostly what we have around the house), and time to read the directions.

This is a winner, for sure!

Things I Anticipate Personally Struggling With

There are some things I anticipate struggling with (personally) in regards to homeschooling.

1. Not having enough personal time and/or feeling stressed out.

Some background: We moved to Michigan when Amita was two weeks old not having any family nearby and not knowing anyone. When she was six months old, we found out I was pregnant again (oops). I was pretty sick while pregnant with Ashima and then when Amita was 15 months old, she was born. My mom stayed with us for a week and then she left and Ridhwi had just started the night shift. We basically didn't see him for a month. To say it was hard would be an understatement. Ashima was very colicky and I was up every 2-3 hours nursing, then up with Amita during the day. Only when Ashima got to be about 7 months old did I feel like I was getting back to myself - I was sleeping at night, I had energy, and the thought of basic household errands and chores didn't make me overwhelmed. Luckily I have an AMAZING husband who did as much as he could to help, even with working 80+ hours a week and dealing with his own exhaustion. Have I mentioned I love him? Marriage is truly a gift from God. But, I digress.

I am someone who needs personal time. I don't need to do anything in particular or go anywhere, just some quiet time every day to process, relax, and be by myself. Currently, I get this when I take a bath every night. It's about 20-30 minutes and my husband commits to making sure the kids are okay so I have some time to myself. Sometimes, I can even get a few minutes during nap time if the kids behave. Additionally, I get random evenings/nights when my husband is at work. I guess it makes me a good resident's wife because I'm okay with being alone even though I miss him.

I have no desire to feel stressed out again if I don't need to. I don't want to feel like I am giving up anything for homeschooling -that it is a burden or something that takes away from me personally. I want it to fit seamlessly into our lifestyle and have everyone in the family be happy.

The key (I think) is to hire a babysitter to help for a couple of hours several times a week. I would really like to lose some baby weight and get back to my "pre baby" body. I would also like to be able to go to the grocery store and post office without a baby posse. It would give me "me" time and I would feel better for exercising. Another plus is that it would set a good example for the girls about how to care for yourself.

Stevens Point has a Teachers College through UWSP (University of Wisconsin Stevens Point) and I think that would be a good place to look. They might even be able to help with homeschooling and give ideas!

2. Enforcing a schedule even when the kids are crabby.

When we first got married, Ridhwi and I both thought that I would be the "enforcer" when it came to parenting. Turns out, I'm only good at enforcing other people's kids in the classroom - my own kids are a different matter. That's not to say I let my kids get away with bad behavior, it just means that I'm not as strict as I thought I would be and I choose not to fight some battles. Since I stay at home, I don't want to be constantly disciplining my kids nor do I want to fight all the time. Sometimes I turn on Veggietales while they are eating dinner to have them be quiet. Some times I turn on BabyChannel when they won't stop whining. I'm not proud of it - I want my kids to be able to eat dinner without entertainment - but sometimes I just don't want the fight. I've also not been good about trying new foods because when I'm home by myself I just want them to eat and be happy. We save the new foods for when Daddy is home. Because of that, Amita in particular, is pickier than I would like. 

It is easy for me to give in when the kids want to do something else. I don't let them walk over me, but sometimes it's just easier to allow it. It's not such a big deal when they are 1 and 2 and easily distracted but it will be a big deal if I let it continue or if I don't keep a firm homeschooling schedule and make sure we stick with it. It will be a personal challenge for me. However, I think if I can come up with creative lessons and make learning fun, school will be something they look forward to and not something they don't want to do - like eating peas. At least I hope so. 

3. Spending "quality" time with the kids.

I get a lot of time with my kids. However, when I analyze how much time I'm actually spending one-on-one with no distractions (phone, computer, TV, needing to do some household chore, etc.) I realized a while ago that there is not a lot of actual honest-to-goodness quality time. It was something I immediately felt bad about and tried to rectify. It's not easy, though. One of my goals this year is to spend much less time on the computer and internet. 

I've thought about closing my Facebook account but we use it as a way to connect especially with our families. I also do most of the networking for both of my husband and myself - often logging on to his account and contacting people for him when he's busy at work. It really is not a feasible option to quit it. Additionally, with homeschooling, I've been spending significantly more time online reading articles and looking for books to help me learn. It's a double edged sword - I want to homeschool and spend time with the kids, but I have to be removed and do research. That's another reason why I like The Learning Box, it takes out a lot of the grunt working trying to find activities for the kids. That being said, I've found that actually closing my laptop and turning of notifications on my phone has helped me the most. If I don't hear the ding of a new message, notification, or email, I can wait until before and after the kids are asleep to do most things.

I am on the library waiting list for a book called Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters!. I am hoping that it will have some insight and help me balance everything.

All in all, I anticipate I'm going to like homeschooling. That does not mean it will not take some adjustment and I'm sure I'll learn things as we go. However, I think being open and honest with myself (and all of you) by identifying my weak points and try to navigate around them will help avoid any potential areas of conflict. 

Starting Preschool "For Real"

Today was the first day that I started preschool with Amita "for real", and by that I mean with an organized, set curriculum. Before this I've just been winging it.

As I've mentioned in a previous post, I purchased a curriculum called The Learning Box. Just so I'm clear, I have not been paid or coerced in any way to plug their material. I'm going to talk about it because it is perfect for our family.

When it first arrives, it comes in a box like this from UPS with a tracking number:

When you open it up, everything you need for the month is included and organized for every day, including a curriculum guide, visual aids, books, and materials needed for each activity.

I have learned that the actual planning/prep for the lessons still takes a while (due in part to the fact that I have to entertain Ashima during that time too) and the lessons themselves go pretty quickly because Amita can't carry on a very long or in depth conversation.

I chose the 3-day-a-week pack which I think is good for Amita at the moment. She needs to move from one activity to another fairly quickly. I'm also doing morning activities and discussion more than one day (the same activities) so it really sinks in. It also makes it last a week - with about an hour of activities a day. Once Amita gets older I'll switch to the 5 day pack but for now the 3 day is perfect.

One of the themes of the month is to learn about weather. Today we read a book about clouds, finger painted clouds, and made cloud glasses (which Amita LOVED; she's always trying to wear my glasses).

All in all, the curriculum is AWESOME and just what I need. From now on I'll definitely need to spend a little be more time planning (the natives got restless while I found materials and read directions) but that's not too hard to do, right? It's MUCH faster than coming up with this stuff on my own - which never would have happened.